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When we can process how we feel,

we can think more clearly about how to act.

006: Stoic Optimism

I have always felt that this planet could take no more, we humans were walking it off a cliff. I remember talking to friends and being pitied or ridiculed for saying I couldn’t imagine trying to transform the world, after all isn’t its decline inevitable? They thought I was crazy not to at least try. I was terrified for future generations, but I didn’t dare to imagine the effort required to invest in and protect a vision of a new era, protect it to the ends of the earth.

At 26, I told my boyfriend and family that I was not going to risk the emotional investment in a better future although I knew deep down the earth needed protection. I told them that if I risked it, it might require untold hardship and I could not bear to face the disappointment of failure. My boyfriend accepted what I said, possibly without understanding, and my family were shocked, expressing that I’d always loved values such as fairness, equality and protecting nature and had always wanted the best for the world.

Ironically, I fell into investing in a new era by mistake and then couldn’t face turning away from it after all. I was quite far into it before I recognised some signs and sensations that this vision had taken seed. I was so torn at this point and fearful for the future and the great gap between my fears and my love for the world. I often acted irrationally and irresponsibly. I blocked out my fears around the ecological and climate emergency.

As this new era came close to coming to fruition, I began to accept and feel hope for the future. The shift in our values emerged, pink and screaming and perfect in all ways. This was the closest to any belief in a higher spiritual plane that I have experienced.

The emerging shift’s entrance to the world; screaming, vulnerable, fighting for life, with a rational need to survive, bringing with it a constant conversation now around saving the planet and stoically looking forward, have given me hope and desperation in equal measure. This is the reason I have become an activist, and have tried to protect the land we guard for the future of life.

May we all be equipped with stoic optimism as we move forward.